Domestic Goddess or NOT

I have the entire week off from work.   Being a domestic goddess (preferred over stay-at-home-mom/wife) is much harder than it sounds...especially when the weather isn't that conducive to outdoor activities. 

My daily routine so far (minus the spells of toilet time from the flu - TMI??)

• Wake up, put on workout gear and tennis shoes.  Yes, I ALWAYS wear athletic shoes around the house.  I am not productive without them.  
• Get kids breakfast and turn on Spongebob Squarepants.  I am soooooo FRICKEN tired of Spongebob Squarepants.  My son wants it on ALL day long.  
• Put in load of laundry.  I swear my kids change their clothes 14 times a damn day because I just LOOOVE washing their clothes 3 times a week.  We are NOT short on clothes around here so that is ALOT.
• Read the 500 blogs I follow while enjoying my coffee.
• Get kids their first of 10 snacks....for the MORNING.  I finally shut them off.  NO MORE SNACKS.  Payton very dramitically says, "Fine, I guess we'll just STARVE" while Grady tells me I'm a "MEAN MOM".  I've only heard that about 50 times since break started.  I guess my mission is almost complete.
• Switch out laundry.  Contemplate hiring a maid. Fold laundry.
•  Make lunch. Pick up toys.  Why do I pick up the toys??
• Tell myself that it's much too early for Pendleton nap time.  Oh, wait.  My kids don't nap.
• Send kids to the basement BANNING them from coming back up for at least an hour in the hopes of getting 20 minutes of bicker free quiet time.  
• Periodically yell "KNOCK IT OFF, NOW" down the stairs.  
• Send kids upstairs BANNING them from coming downstairs while I work out in the hopes of only being interrupted a few times.
• Ponder whether kids will blow away in the roaring winds or freeze too much if I ban them to the outdoors.
• Start supper.  Contemplate hiring a cook.
• Refrain myself from strangling Shane when he comes home and asks what we did all day.
• Read the other half of my blogs while Shane watches random stupid shit on TV.  
• Send the kids to bed at least 10 minutes early. 
• Ban Shane to the bedroom and watch mindless TV.  Drink wine.

This is just a portion of my day and it's exhausting. Tonight, I thought I'd really push the Domestic Goddess title and make one of Shane's favorite meals.  I am a damn good cook.  My mom is a great cook and my sisters are great cooks.  Tonight, however, I burned half of the shit I was cooking  and had windows open and fans blowing despite the roaring winds and cool temps outside.  I think I'm going into domestic overload.  

Tomorrow, I GET to go into the school and work on grades.  Moral of my story is...breaks are good.  This break from my job makes me feel refreshed and ready for a new semester.  The break I get from my kids during the school week makes me almost enjoy my attempts at domestic goddess status.  To each their own...but for me, balance is key.  To all you full time domestic goddesses.  Take.a.break.  YOU DESERVE IT!

Sisterly Bonding

Workout this morning: Ran (who am I kidding, wogged) 3 miles.  It was rough.  I had the flu Monday and now I'm getting a head cold.  Fun times.

After my unsuccessful "run", my sister and I headed to town for a day of sisterly bonding doing what all sisters do for bonding time...getting tattoos...on their eyelids.  I guess the professional term is "permanent cosmetics".  I suspected it would hurt, but I figured, "c'mon, I've had 2 kids; it can't be thaaaat bad."  Ask any mother...after having kids every painful experience thereafter gets compared to childbirth.  Really.  Also, one of my bff's has had it done and she's not that tough, so I figured I could handle it.  I didn't remember her having any horror stories about it.  I'll be calling her later. 

My strategy was to go first so that I wouldn't chicken out after seeing Heather squirm in pain.  The girl (I can't remember the professional name for her either) warned me that the first "pass" would be uncomfy.  So, I pucker up while she forces my clenched lids apart and goes to town.  Left eye done.  Could be worse.  Right eye definitely worse.  S***, F***, D***, M**.  Well, you get the picture.  Being the extremely nice sister I am, I say none of these words out loud as Heather is sitting there, and I don't want to totally freak her out. 

This is where the girl enthusiastically tells me that some require 3 passes and others require 10.  Let's just say it was a good thing I'd just emptied my bladder.  Thankfully, each pass over my eyelids hurt less (except the outer edges).  Heather was in disbelief after getting her first "pass".  I let her think I was just a lot tougher than her (and I was) for awhile and then confessed that I was being a super thoughtful sister by refraining from swearing.  

The other day I went running with the girls and they were gracious enough to talk the whole way to distract me on my first "long" training run.  I figured I could do the same for Heather and told her how awesome permanent eyeliner would be playing volleyball, working out and that when she crossed the finish line for her first half she'd look HOT.  The girl shared a soothing, relaxing mantra with us and we told her swearing was more our style. 

Regardless, I am super excited to not have to mess with eyeliner in the mornings...especially since calving season will be among us soon so I'm going to have to resort to running in the mornings before work.  

Me just 4 hours after the procedure.  My daughter keeps telling me how creepy I look and I keep reassuring her the swelling will go down, the color will tone down, and I won't look so creepy.  Right??

P.S. - Read Heather's account of our day here.

Holiday blues

I love Christmas, I really do.  However, I HATE the after affects.  My house looks like a tornado came through.  Toys and clothes everywhere.  Normally, the day after Christmas I go crazy throwing stuff out and making room for the new; however, yesterday I was sick.....like couldn't get more than 4 ft. from the bathroom so I laid in bed until 3:00 p.m. sick. Yep, fun times. 

Today, I WILL find my house and get the tree out of the living room.  Most importantly, I will hydrate hydrate hydrate in the hopes of staying on my training schedule and getting in a run today. While lying on my death bed yesterday, that's all I could think about.  How will I get the energy back to run?  I find this funny because a year ago I vowed to accept the fact that I suck at running and to just stick to circuit training and treadmill intervals.  Weird how times have changed.  I'm still not convinced I LOVE to run.  BUT, I'm just stubborn enough that I'm not letting it beat me, and I DO love the feeling of accomplishment when the run is over. 

 

From our family to yours, I hope your holiday season is blessed!

Christmas Cheer

Redneck cookie cutter or pure brilliance?  You decide:

 

Apparently, I'm slipping in the "mean mom" department.  The "I'll tell Santa" line is NOT working with my kids today.  I never dreamed an 8yr. old and a 4yr old would have so much to fight about.  Who knew?  I thought making cookies would be a good distraction.  Really, I've just changed my line to "If you don't quit fighting I'm going to beat you you can't help "decorate" the cookies."  

We are super lucky during the holidays as most of our family lives within 45 minutes.  I get exactly 10 days off from work and like to use the time to play catch up on life..one of the perks of being a teacher.  That and the "treats" your students bring you.  Shane and I almost had a war over my roasted honey cinammon almonds last night. 

Workout:  Did Yogalosophy this morning after letting Jillian kick my ass last night.  Man, I love to hate her.  I'm supposed to meet Tara and Katie in town tonight to run 4 miles while looking at Christmas lights.  Not sure how that's gonna work as we could easily see them all in 2 miles.  I'm not going to lie.  I'm VERY apprehensive about running with them fast beotches.  Not sure how my 10:40 pace is going to keep up with their 9:00 pace???  

Perspective

This post needs something funny;)

Warning-This post is rather serious and reflective.  I even shock myself at times.

Dictionary definition of perspective: the state of one's ideas, the facts known to one, etc., in having a meaningful interrelationship.

I've had A day.  Not sure why, but I've decided it's time for an attitude check and a little perspective.

Example A:  We lost our game last night, and I was convinced it was one major cluster you know what.  When watching the film today, I found myself telling the girls to not only look for things we did poorly but to also look for things we did well.  Even though we did not play to the best of our ability, nor did I coach to the best of mine, I have a GREAT group of girls and I know they will continue to try their guts out and improve.  I can't let my HIGHLY competitive nature override the love of the game.  They are a young group with major potential. 

Example B:  My run tonight kicked my ass.  Really.  At 1.25 miles on the dreadmill, I felt like I was about to die.  I pretty much threw in the towel and did some interval work for the next mile to finish out.  Instead of beating myself up about what a failure I am, I need to remember that 2 months ago I couldn't even run a mile.  Instead of complaining about having no time or daylight to run outside, I need to be thankful I have a job to pay the bills.  AND instead of making excuses and bitching about my treadmill, I should be thankful I even have one. 
  
Actually, I think I can blame my highly competitive nature on many of my mental issues right now, especially as far as running goes.  I've always played team sports where I wasn't going to let my team down.  This is the first time I've been afraid of letting myself down.  I'm NOT QUITTING, though.  If I have to walk a portion of my first half marathon after 7 months of running, so be it.  From now on I'm racing myself.  I'm not going to compare my pace to others.  I'm going to beat MY pace every run.  So, there!

Gym rat

Today, I spent 7 hours in the gym coaching/watching basketball.  I've always been a gym rat, but even I'm spent. You'll have to check back in tomorrow for something better cause this is all I've got.

BUT...I do have good news.  My missing glove is found.  It fell out of my truck at the local grocery store and they "saved" it for me by pinning it to the bulletin board and letting me know it was there.  You know you live in a small town when they can narrow the glove in the parking lot down to me. 

I planned today to be my rest day because I knew it was going to be crazy, crazy.  Only two more days until Christmas break!!  Just keep swimming, just keep swimming.

In Search of a Mantra

Today my husband had to take our son to the Dr...by  himself.  Our oldest child is 8 years old and this is the first time he's ever done such a thing.  I'll give him props.  He only called me 3 times from Safeway so I could point him in the right direction.  After trying to explain that tylenol IS acetamenophin, he said he'd just get the real shit.  Uh, ok. 

He also called back when leaving town to bitch about the fact that "this little trip to town" cost him nearly $200.  Obviously he NEVER buys groceries, and if he does his list pry looks more like this:

He was quite put out that I gave him a list to complete after going to the Dr.  We live in BFE.  It's against some law to go to the big city without getting the necessities.  He should just be thankful I didn't tell anyone else he was going or they'd have sent a list too.  That's how we roll here in the sticks.  

Anyways, the real reason for my post today...I need a running mantra.  Something to repeat to myself when I want to lay down in the middle of the road and cry.  Some I'm considering:

• Don't be such a girl.
• Do you want ppl to see you suck?
• Run, b*t*ch.
• Get your ass to moving.
• Focus, damnit!
• If I stop, I'll kick my own ass.
• If I stop, I'll let Heather kick my ass.
• If you finish, you can buy new boots..or jeans..or shoes..
• F*** you, hill or leg or lungs or whatever I'm annoyed with.
• I run to look good naked.

Although I'm fond of several of those, like a true problem solver, I turned to Google for more help.  According to Runner's World, a good mantra is  "one that's short, positive, instructive, and full of action words" and one that "diverts your mind from thoughts that reinforce the pain to thoughts that help you transcend it."  I've discovered that I often count my steps while running and figured that was "weird".  However, Google assures me that counting is actually a great distraction and that some runners even have a counting pattern.  I'll let you know when I find my pattern.  Maybe Google can help me with that too.

In all seriousness, I've discovered that the most difficult part of running for me is the mental aspect.  It's my brain telling the rest of me to stop or that I can't go any farther.   "Repeating choice words whenever you need to focus helps direct your mind away from negative thoughts and toward a positive experience." 

I'll admit that much of my "self-talk" may seem unorthodox, but it works for me.  My inner me is always cursing my outer me.  When I'm angry, I swear, so many of my "choice" words can't be repeated here and usually start with 'f'.   However, I am seeking a "nicer" mantra...one that I could actually write on my hand (like Neon Blonde Runner does) that won't get disdainful looks from others.  Some possibilities:

• DO. NOT. STOP
• You are a rock star.
• JUST. RUN
• NO EXCUSES
• Smooth. Steady. Strong
• Run through it.

 What do you all think?  Please help me get more than 2 responses here, people.  Do you have a running/fitness mantra to get you through??

Covering my tracks

So, did any of you read "Ode to the Running Shoe" over at Runaway Ranchwife?  I'm so glad I don't have HER problem! 

 

Today=Operation get rid of some shoes BEFORE the two new pairs I have coming arrive and BEFORE hubby realizes how many pairs of athletic shoes I actually have.   Although, he really can't say much.  On our black Friday Christmas shopping disaster, I came home with a gun safe to keep our kids from shooting us, each other, anyone.  I had no idea we had enough guns to equip a small militia.  Seriously, we have entirely too many hobbies.  

Also on the agenda for today - Get in a long run because tonight some of my family intend to spread some Christmas cheer at the local pub, and it's no secret I don't have a lot of will power.  I will drink too much and eat too much, and if I have to run tomorrow I may die or at least look like this:

On another note...I lose things, frequently.  Things I currently can't find:

• My favorite pizza cutter.  Really, who loses that?

• One of the kids' walkie talkies.  I'd normally blame this on them but I remember carrying it in from truck.

• One of my black leather gloves.  Driving me crazy cause I love those gloves.  Guessing it fell out of my truck or is buried somewhere inside.

• One of the Christmas presents I bought and "hid" from my kids.  Hmmmm???

Have a great weekend all!

Does it really matter?

Obviously, my husband and I have very different beliefs when it comes to wrapping presents.  

Mine: (with minimal wine)

 

  

  Apparently, he got the multiple memos of "If you don't like it do it your fricken self" so after coming home from an exciting evening of working on snowmobiles,  he sat down and helped me.  He seriously actually counts and follows the grid lines on the inside of the paper when cutting.  Then, he creases, and re-creases before folding and uses perfectly proportioned pieces of tape.  I don't know why I'm so surprised.  This is the same man that turned our daughter's school Valentine box into a week long project requiring a welder and table saw.  Really.

His: (with multiple Budweisers, I'm sure)

  I swear he thinks he's personally saving our kids and family members from the trauma of my shitty wrapping skills.  I'm perfectly capable of wrapping presents neatly.  But, why?  Does anyone out there reeeaally examine the wrapping paper before going after the goods inside? 

Workout plan for tonight: 

 Run another 3 on the treadmill or run 2 and do Jillian's power sculpt or 6 week abs.  

Questions:

  Are you a freaky anal present wrapper or do you just throw it all together and cover what's inside? 

Has anyone accidently erased an entire post because I just did that.  Farewell, Woot Woot:(

Will it ever end??

This week.  Will it ever end??

Monday-typical work day only to get home to log into my grad class to find out the project that I THOUGHT was due the end of the week was due that night.  Skipped working out and finished by 10:30.

Tuesday-spent over 3 hours in a bus on icy roads to go to a JH basketball game. 

On the bright side, we won; however, by the time I got home it was late, I was crabby, and the kids needed my every minute. I was then a total loser and laid in bed watching the Biggest Loser finale. 

Wednesday (today) - I was super pumped because I took a day off from work for somewhat of a "mental" health day....only to receive a call from preschool that my son was sick.  Grandma to the rescue as I was 100 miles away.  Came home to face the dreadmill as I couldn't run outside.  This is my view from the beast:

To pass the time, I decided to name them and came up with Larry, Moe, and Curly.  They are so polite to look slightly away from my misery.  All except for Moe, anyways.  See how his right eye is watching me watching him.  Creepy.  I think Larry and Curly secretly hate Moe for having such a big rack??

I made my 3 miles but was on the brink of insanity.  I think I'll use this to cover Moe's eye next time:

Question:  How do you overcome the dreadmill? 

Me Me Me Monday

I've decide today (Monday) should be all about me. I know what my sisters are thinking right now and shut it!

Today I will list some random things about ME so all of you out there in blogger world can get to know me up close and personal.  Disclaimer:  The directions say to go with your first response.

I am....a cowgirl at heart and AWESOME:))  Had to throw in the awesome!
I want.....to have abs again.  Damn kids.
I hate.....the word hate.  Really, I'm always correcting my kids/students.
I wonder....how my husband can sit in "his" chair all day watching hunting.
I am not....a great housekeeper.  I'm more of a hurry and clean because someone is coming over type.
I dance......my ass off:))  Not real sure where that came from.  I dance around the house when I'm cleaning.  Have to do something to stay motivated.
I wish.....that Houdini (our pygmy goat) didn't think he was a border collie dog and would stay off the deck and out of the yard so he didn't have to stay penned.  Poor fella:(
I search....for my keys and my beloved (iPhone) daily....especially the keys.
I cry...about things pertaining to kids.  They don't even have to be my own.  I get choked up watching weddings, graduations, last sports games,...I'll be a mess when my own kids graduate..or maybe I'll be ready to kick em out by then.
I hear...weird noises like tapping pencils, ticking clocks, etc and I go a lil nutso.  Seriously, ask one of my students how I feel about a tapping pencil.  Grrrrrr....

And, that's enough about me (for today).  On another note, I ran 3.2 miles last night in the dark so I could experience the awesome moon that didn't come out until AFTER  my run was over.  I was a hot mess running all over our cow trail dirt road going back to my house.  Got a lil hairy there at the end of my run but I forged on.

Newsflash:  My sister started her own blog so you should check it out here.   Warning-she curses..more than I.  Just saying. 

My biggest news for this Monday is (drumroll, please) today I registered for the Lincoln half marathon to be run in May.  I have exactly 20 weeks to go from running 3.2 miles to running 13.1.  No worries.....right?

Jingle Bells

I know I'm such a loser lately.  I haven't even given an official race report from my first 5k.  I've been too obsessed with reading all the blogs about the Vegas Rock 'n' Roll Marathon that had over 40000 runners!!  Some good reports, some bad but all equally fascinating. I stole this picture from a blogger runner.  I'm afraid claustrophobia may kick in for me and I'd have to go all kinds of Spongebob Squarepants crazy on some poor soul.  Interesting factoid I learned....some runners actually "go" in their drawers rather than find a bathroom.  I'm not talking number one here, people.  I realize this topic may be somewhat taboo but I was amazed...and a little freaked out by this knowledge.  Guess I still have a LOT to learn about running.


Anyways, on to my first 5k.  My goal was to finish without walking and I did it!!  I didn't break any speed records but my legs kept moving.  Following is the dialogue I was having with myself throughout: (Disclaimer: please pardon my language.  I felt honesty was the best policy here.)



Me:  Okay, we're off.  Feeling good.  Tara and Katie aren't THAT fast.
Other Me:  Who are you kidding?  You're eating their dust...er, snow.

Me:  Fine.  I can hang with Heather.  I know I can match her pace.  No worries.
Other Me:  Uh, hello, there goes Heather. 

Me:  OMG,  WTF was I thinking.  I HATE running.
Other Me:  NO, you don't.  Mind over matter.  You are an ATHLETE damnit.  Really, you can't run 3.1 frickin miles?  Don't be such a girl.  Earn those abs woman!

Me:  Yes, almost halfway!  Maybe I can sneak in walking around that cone at the end.
Other Me:  I hate all these mother f'rs passing me on their way BACK before I've even reached the turnaround.  Beotches, all of em.

Me:  That is horrible.  I do not.  You go peeps.  Run like the wind!
Other me:  Liar.

Me:  Alright, Heather is in my sights ahead and I can see Sammy right beside me.  I got this.
Other me:  Right.  You can't let Sammy pass you.  Suck it up.  Seriously, there she goes...she's passing you...along with some random Grandmother.  You suck.

Me:  Okay, I could walk now and no one would ever know.  It would be our lil secret.  Shhhh.....
Other me:  Like hell.  I'm telling them all and they will laugh and call you names.  Get your ass to moving.

Tara, Katie

Me:  Right.  Finish line is in sight.  What?  We aren't finishing where we started?  Why do we have to run clear to the parking lot.  We started out here, damnit.  This is just cruel.
Other me:  You darn sure can't stop now.  You know Tara and Katie are lurking somewhere nearby in their cute tutus gushing over you trotting into the finish line after all your peeps have already had coffee and donuts.  Man, I hate them right now.

Me: Might as well finish this.  I'd feel like a real ass walking the last 100 yards.   OMG, there are Tara and Katie.  I LOVE them girls AND their tutus...staying out here to cheer me on in the frickin snow.  
Other me: You're a complete rockstar....a slow one but hey, it takes all kinds;)  When's the next one??  We've got some work to do!

In all seriousness, these girls really do ROCK.  It was a great day, snow and all!!

Tara, Heather, Me, Sammy, Katie